Some thoughts this Valentine’s Day…
I personally love Valentine’s Day. My first year spending it with my husband (then boyfriend) he went all out and got me one of those massive teddy bears from Walmart and we went on a cute date to a steakhouse. As poor college students, that was a pretty big deal. Throughout the years, the gifts have become smaller and more meaningful. We mainly use it now as an excuse to order dessert with our dinner.
Valentine’s Day is marketed mainly to the couples, the romantic partners in life. And there is nothing wrong with celebrating it with your romantic partner if you so choose to. However, it doesn’t have to be just for couples; it’s a holiday celebrating love, and love can be celebrated in many different stages of life. I’m hoping these words will encourage you and lift your spirits, whether you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your romantic partner, your friends, your family, or yourself as a day of self love and care. Because ultimately, our romantic love lives do not define who we are or determine our worth. At the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is just another day, and let’s be honest, the real holiday is the 15th when all the chocolate is on sale.
So, it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re alone. I get it. I was single on February 14th for 19 years. Instead of spending my Valentine’s Days on dates with a guy, I spent them with my girlfriends, a celebration now referred to as Galentine’s Day (thanks Leslie Knope). And sure, there were times I definitely wished there was a guy in my life, but for the most part, I was relatively content. I used these years to learn how to love myself and to recognize the type of love I wanted in my life. I focused on being happy, enjoying the moment, and cultivating lifelong friendships.
If you are coming into this holiday single, don’t be ashamed of it – embrace it while it lasts. Probably the most important thing I learned in my years of being single was to just enjoy it. There is so much freedom and independence in your single years that you don’t realize until you’re in a relationship. If you are in between relationships, take this time to heal your heart, work on the way you love yourself, and understand your relationship with love. Loving yourself is how you teach others how to love you. The relationships in our lives are usually a direct reflection of the love we give ourselves. Become so in love with who you are, so happy in the skin that you're in, that no one can tell you that you deserve anything less.
So whether you’re in between relationships, or you’ve never been in one to begin with, don’t think of this Valentine’s Day as a reminder that you’re “forever alone,” or wallow in self-pity that you’re spending it in your room binge watching Netflix and stuffing your face with chocolate. Don’t feel like you have to have a significant to celebrate this holiday. You do not need a romantic partner for your life to be complete. Don’t find your worth - your purpose - in your significant other, or in the presence or lack of a relationship. Ask your other single friends to go get dinner and have a good time. Celebrate you and your friends. One day you’ll celebrate with your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé(e), husband/wife, but enjoy YOU while you’re single.
Happy Valentine’s Day.